happy happy happy
Nov 12, 2006 Quiet Time, Random 6 Comments
After feeling completely down and out for about a month, I’m finally back to my happy self again! I was reading Hebrews 5 when this verse hit me:
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.
Hebrews 5:8
Perhaps obedience was the lesson I had to learn here, and to do so, I needed to face my sufferings instead of running from them (and thus creating more pain and anguish). I finally took the courage to face the source of my troubles and fears, and praise the Lord, it has finally been removed! Though the ending wasn’t the happy one I had hoped for, there’s no longer any hatred or resentment left in my heart. It was funny because when I went to church today, Isaac was like “You look pretty chipper for a raining day.” whereas last week he kept commenting on how stoned and sleep-deprived I looked. I definitely could not have recovered from the emotional trauma without God by my side each step of the way. Though I still wonder at times, I am reminded that:
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:9
Yesterday while I was interning at JRP, Frankie told me that she talked to Melanie and that they needed substitute teachers for the weekends and that they might consider hiring me! Of course, Melissa (I really do not like this girl…she’s 13 but likes to think she’s 25 and better than everyone else) has been worried that I might take her place ever since I started interning, but seriously, she needs to stop being so paranoid. Nonetheless, I’d love to get a job at JRP! Frankie will be asking Brittany (the school director) about this today, so wish me luck! 
Find Rest, My Soul
Oct 9, 2006 Quiet Time Leave a comment
I was going my quiet time and reading Psalm 62, and I really felt God speaking to me again. The first verse just struck me:
“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.”
It’s when you’re feeling most hopeless, most hurt, as if the world is just crumbling before your eyes, that you come before Him. You cry out His name, and this peace and warmth just washes over you because you know He is there. He is there beside you, comforting you, giving you hope. Like yesterday night, when I thought my relationship was doomed, I came before God and just cried out His name. I just spilled out everything, and even though my speech made no sense, I knew He understood all my hurt and pain. It just gives me so much peace to know that He is present when I’m most in need of someone, and in Him alone, my soul can find rest.
Verse 5 says:
“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.”
Also, I find verse 11 and 12 really encouraging and something I’ll definitely want to memorize:
“One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.”
Why my relationship ended up the way it is now, I’m definitely partly to blame. At first I kept asking why this was happening, but my mom continued to remind me that God is loving, and He knows what’s best for me. And I believe that when I begin to act more maturely, stop always thinking about myself and think more about others and learn to love them a little more and me a little less, than God will reward me for what I have done.
power to love again
Oct 8, 2006 Quiet Time 2 Comments
It’s really amazing how God speaks to you in so many different ways. I’ve been depressed due to some relationship issues lately, and was about to go to the banquet instead of church today. However, in the end I felt like of all people I shouldn’t be running away from, it’d be God. So I go and I try to put my best face forward.
But tears started forming in my eyes when we sang a song talking about the desires and hurts in our heart and how God knows them all, and that He hears our every wish and feels our every pain and fear. It just touched me so deeply, to know that God is there, and that He knew. He knew the pain I was going through. It was just too much that I ended up running to the bathroom and crying in a stall. I don’t think I came out until the song ended.
The second time God spoke was through the guest pastor from Taiwan. His message was really amazing, but the part that imprinted me most deeply was about learning to love again. He gave the example of how when he first came to the US to study, he was robbed by Americans of all his money right when he came out of the airport. He said that right then he vowed that he would revenge this country and its people by studying really hard and getting back all the money that was stolen and more. But then he met some really friendly Americans at his school, inviting him over for Christmas and Thanksgiving and giving him presents. He realized that there are caring people out there, and that’s when he realized that he could start loving others again. It’s just how I feel about loving others: that in the end I’ll be taken advantage of or taken for granted. It’s just that I’ve been hurt in the past, hence I’m afraid to take the step out and make myself vulnerable again. But through the power of Christ, through His amazing love, we can learn to open our hearts to people again, because that love no longer comes from us. It comes from Christ and the Holy Spirit who dwells within us.
God in Hana Yori Dango
Sep 23, 2006 Fandom, Quiet Time Leave a comment
I found the following post in my GJ, and thought it was rather interesting. Since I’ve abandoned my GJ, I thought it might be a good idea to move this post here (though I have been neglecting this place as well…but still.
Before watching Hana Yori Dango, I was reading Authentic Beauty, where it compares us and Christ’s relationship to that of a fairytale princess and princes, how we are to leave behind our past lives and lovers to be with the one we love. Obviously, the relationship with Christ is not a romantic one, but the fact that He loves you so much as to give His life for your freedom from sin.
I was still trying to relate to how the book was putting it, but the love I’ve had for my Savior has sort of died away after the retreat last year *broomed*.
However, watching Hana Yori Dango, I couldn’t help but noticing some similarities between Makino & Domyouji’s relationship and ours & Christ’s relationship.
- Makino comes from a poor family who didn’t fit in at their school until Domyouji made clear that he liked her and approved of her. In the same way, we as sinners need to have a relationship with Christ to have eternal life.
- When Domyouji first asked Makino out on a date, Makino was hesitant didn’t appear until 3 hours later. Regardless, Domyouji waited for her, even if it meant getting cold and wet. Of course, finally seeing her there, he was more than thrilled (though I think he called her an idiot or something, but that’s beside the point). In the same way, our Lord patiently waits for us to turn back to him. Regardless of the hesitations and doubts we may have, know that He is there waiting for us.
- When Makino was drugged and brought to the hotel and had those sleazy pictures taken of her, Domyouji was heartbroken and disappointed. True that she was set-up, and he still forgave her later, but the hurt was already done. It’s the same when we sin. A lot of time we don’t do it on purpose, but it’s a sin nonetheless, and by doing it, we’re not only hurting ourselves, but Christ.
- Domyouji was beaten up in order to save Makino from Sakurako. He could have fought back and won, but he didn’t. Later on, he told Makino that if he did, then he wouldn’t have been protecting her. That was the first time Domyouji ever got beaten up like that. This was the most striking similarity (well at least for me). In order to atone for our sins, Christ had to be crucified. He could have refused, but had He not died for us, then we would not be saved.
EDIT// Though Domyouji was beaten badly, he won when Sakurako eventually admitted defeat and gave up. This is just like Christ died, but overcame death and rose again 3 days later.
I’m 100% sure that the script writer had no intentions of linking the show with Christianity, but it’s funny how such themes and motifs pop up everywhere. 
