to give is to love
Jan 23, 2007 Quiet Time 1 Comment
Often times we don’t give because we’re afraid. We’re afraid we might get hurt, might be used, might be scorned at, and the list could go on and on. Yet 1 John 4:18 says
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.
How much more should we Christians love others by giving, just like how our Savior gave His very life for us. Many times we think we aren’t rich, thus have nothing to give. But greatest gifts are often gifts that money can’t buy: the gift of a helping hand, a hug, or of an encouraging word. We think of those as small and meaningless, but more often than not, it’s just what others need. And when you have given out of love, you can understand why Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive.
I’m very glad I listened to the Holy Spirit’s voice and gave what I could to a sick friend. I was afraid at first, but I took the step anyways. And the blessing in return was greater than I had imagined. 
Jehovah Jireh
Jan 21, 2007 Quiet Time 2 Comments
Jehovah Jireh is one of the many names of God. It first appeared in Genesis 22:14, and Jireh basically means “God will provide”. Oh and did I mention that the Chinese translation of Jireh is *his* Chinese name? It was quite surprising when I saw his name in big print on the pastor’s power point. Anyways, that’s beside the point. The message today was wonderful. Here are some points I got down:
- “He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.” Romans 4:17
Like how God gave Abraham a son, even though it seemed impossible, and “resurrected him from the dead”, God will do the same for us. Just when it seems like we have lost all hope, He will resurrect our hope and gives us blessings beyond our wildest imagination - if we can obey Him like Abraham did. - “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” Revelation 1:8
All things begin with God and end with God. Are we willing to let God participate in our lives by bringing in the people and events that He want, not what we want? And when it comes to the end, are we willing to let it go, just like how Abraham was willing to let Isaac go? - Sometimes when God takes something away, there is a reason behind it. More often than not, it’s a test of our faith: how much of it do we have in our heavenly Father? Sometimes these trials are necessary to make sure we can handle the blessing that is to come after. The choice is up to us whether to be strong or to run away.
- “Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16
God knew and loved us before we even came to be. He has great plans for us, and they are already in His book. So why do we worry when things don’t go as we plan? Why do we try to take things into our own hands and cry when it fails? Is God’s plan not better than ours? Will He not provide what’s best for us?
Needless to say, I was very encouraged by this sermon. However, I don’t regret my breaking down as it gave me an idea of how *he* was feeling… for the first time I can sort of understand his pain. As for our future? All I know is that it’s secure in God’s hands.
Back to life. My makeup bag contents were in need of a revamp, so I went to Riteaid and got some Maybelline eyeshadows, a Physicians Formula shimmer strip, and 2 trial-size Queen Helene cocoa butter lotion. But for the rest of the items, I couldn’t find at Riteaid or CVS, so I had to get them at drugstore.com. There I got a E.L.F lip gloss, a Physicians Formula multi-colored face powder (I wanted this in the pearls of perfection format, but they didn’t have it :(), a John Frieda hair mask (ok, so I’m not a blonde, but guess what, it doesn’t matter), Queen Helene apricot moisturizing mask, and Queen Helene cocoa butter scrub. I absolutely loved Queen Helene’s mint julep mask and just had to buy their scrub and apricot mask when I saw it. The mint julep mask is too harsh for the winter. :P
Feed My Sheep
Dec 1, 2006 Quiet Time, Random 12 Comments
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”
John 21:17-18
This was the scripture God gave me as I was leaving school on Monday. I’m not sure why this verse, as I’m still trying to get out of my own mess, but I’ve been thinking about it all week, and I’ve sort of come to a conclusion:
Though I’m recovering, there are still so many of my friends who do not know Him and His amazing love for us. Even when I’m in despair and think that the world has turned its back on me, I still have God. Who do my friends have? Recently, my best friend from Taiwan got dumped by her boyfriend. Just a few days after my incident. I could relate to her helplessness and pain, but unlike me, she was unable to find comfort in anything. I feel compassion for her, and have decided to add her to my prayer list, because I know that this was God’s calling when He told me to feed his sheep. I know this might take months or even years, but God is always on time.
I got my SAT scores, and I did only 70 points better than last time, giving me a 2080. I’m starting to wonder why I even bothered. 
I still got a 7 on my essay, but I couldn’t care less because I know I can’t write if my life depended on it. But I’m still 10 points away from that perfect 800 in math! Now that makes me mad! However, my percentages increased by quite a bit, so it wasn’t all that bad. I wish the exams and tests were over, but unfortunately, I have TOEFL tomorrow. Oh the agony.
I also got the books I ordered from Amazon. I’ve read a bit of one of them, and the letters in there are enough to make my melt. I truly feel God talking to me as He looks on with loving eyes, calling me His princess. Will definitely write reviews for them when I’m done.
A Fateful Thanksgiving
Nov 27, 2006 Quiet Time 25 Comments
I would say happy, but there were those bittersweet moments when I saw him again and when he…well, pretty much ignored me. I’m not blameless either, because even though it was unintentional, I rubbed it in his face by laughing and chatting and hugging everyone like I was on top of the world. Talk about room for maturing for the both of us.
Nonetheless, I’ve decided stop thinking about him completely and focusing more on school, friends, family, job, and most of all, my relationship with God.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
So far day 2 of my recovery process has been wonderful. I bought 3 more books from Amazon, even though I’ve yet to finish the ones I bought before. But something (or should I say some things) I did finish were my college applications. Now I just have to sit back, relax, and wait. Of course, this part can be nerve-wracking too.
I also added a radio blog to the site with some of my favorite songs, mostly Christian. Which reminds me, would people find it too offensive if I kept talking about Christianity in here? That was the original purpose for this domain, but I don’t want to offend anyone, nor do I want to preach (as I know how annoying it is). I guess the whole “God is amazing” part is more for myself, so I can look back and see how God has worked in my life.
The only reason I don’t password protect it is that I feel there might be other people out there who are interested and who knows, will be inspired (?) by my stories.
Epilogue
Nov 15, 2006 Quiet Time Leave a comment
I finally mustered up the courage to confront him again, and God has been faithful and given me an answer: it’s time to move on.
Reasons according to him are that he’s busy with school, he doesn’t want to go behind his parents’ back (oh so now he doesn’t), and that his parents just don’t approve of him being in a relationship. Any girl reading this would know it sounded like complete bullcrap, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. If he is telling the truth, I’m happy for him as he’s finally gonna start concentrating on his studies and being more considerate to his parents. And if he’s lying, well, the asshole doesn’t deserve my affections anyway.
However, the hatred in my heart towards him is finally starting to melt away.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
Job 1:21
